More plant stands

These end tables showed up at my mom's house this weekend. There are four of them arranged in rows of two. My mom is using them as plant stands. It's a little bizarre, since they're just kinda hanging out in the middle of the living room, but my mom wanted her plants to get sun from the skylight above. All fine. I mean, the tables are ugly, but whatever. Then I took a closer look...

...and yes, that is a ball taped to the frame. It snapped off, but the previous owner kindly reattached it using packing tape. This makes the monkey candlestick look like a work of art.

Judge Sonia

The latest gift from my mother, purchased from the used book section of a thrift store. My mother is a big believer in self-help books. In college, I would get care packages filled with ramen, bottles of Centrum, and books like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." I've only read the back cover of Judge Judy's book, but I already know my favorite of her "ten hard and true lessons for happiness" is Lesson  #4:  "Denial is a river in Egypt." True dat.

Is that a Renoir?

Do you ever wonder who buys bad reproductions of famous artworks for their houses? That would be my mother. In contrast to the Last Supper she has hanging in her bedroom, this Renoir actually has a decent wooden frame (though it's still gilt). The real painting hangs in the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. The fake painting hangs in Sonia's Gallery of Bad Taste in Los Angeles, CA.

Funeral parlor

I think my mom actually purchased this from Wertz Brothers, but it's still heinous. This is in the living room. My mom can't pass up anything that is marble/granite or gilt. I don't even know where to begin when it comes to the chairs. They look like office chairs for munchkins. The doily under the vase is from the Army. My mom loves anything handmade/crocheted/knit. In the background, you can see the handmade cozy my mom made for our piano. The piano bench also has its own cozy.

Merry X-Mas

This lovely "vignette" sits in the corner of the living room. What is it? you ask. Well, let me start from the bottom. Here, we have a metal Christmas tree stand with one broken leg. It can no longer support an actual tree, so someone donated it to the Salvation Army. Where my mother bought it and decided to turn it into a plant stand. How? Well, she put a metal platter on top of the stand (provenance unknown), then placed an enormous ceramic pot on top of the platter (again, provenance unknown, but I suspect it's from Ktown). As a crowning touch, she placed a round cutting board (provenance: Salvation Army) on the very top. I have no idea why she wanted to cover the pot. Maybe because she wanted to put an actual potted plant on the tippy top? In any case, my mother has many of such bizarre structures all over her house.

e is for eccentric

My mother uses this as her gym bag. As you can see, it is monogrammed with the letter "e." My mother's name is Sonia. There is no "e" in her name, as far as I can tell. Her last name is Lee. So maybe the "e" is referring to Sonia LEE? Or maybe the "e" stands for "excellent" or "energetic" or "ArE you fucking kidding mE?"

Monkey Candlestick

I believe this is a monkey climbing a candlestick. And no, your eyes do not deceive you. The monkey's head broke off and someone super-glued it back on. Then that person realized that he had a broken piece of shit and donated it to the Salvation Army, where my mother purchased it. It now resides on her desk.

Cherubic Clock

I knew it was a bad sign when my mom called to ask if I had any extra batteries because she wanted to "check if something worked." She wouldn't tell me what that "something" was. Well, here it is. There are so many things wrong with this clock, but at least it does tell time.

The Last Supper

This lovely piece hangs in my mother's bedroom. The frame is made of gold spray-painted plastic. Now I haven't seen the original painting, but I think it's fair to say that the apostles aren't supposed to look like airbrushed cartoons. I was once watching "My Name is Earl," and this EXACT SAME PAINTING (plastic frame and all) was hanging in a white trash trailer. Awesome.

Happy Birthday Joey

My mom is an almost-70 year old Korean woman with an addiction to the Salvation Army (the "Army") and other thrift stores. She likes to buy used Crock Pots, dishes, swimsuits (she swims at the YMCA daily), clothes, furniture, trivets, linens, and baby clothes. She sent two daughters to private high school and college and now lives in a nice house in Brentwood, so clearly her frugality has paid off. Still, she buys all kinds of crap she doesn't need. This blog is meant to record her random-ass purchases.

Exhibit #1 is a recent purchase. In case you can't read the print, the mug says, "Happy 60th Birthday, Joey. With love from your whole family. Oct 2005." I asked my mom who Joey was, just to fuck with her. She  giggled. My husband said, "That sucks that Joey gave away this birthday mug from his family." I answered, "He probably gave the mug away because he DIED and they carted away all his possessions to the Army."