Faux Marble

Less than one week after the marble altar atrocity, my mother outdid herself. She bought another dining table and chairs (we now have 4 sets in our house) for the basement. No one eats down there, but my mom doesn't care. My sister e-mailed me a picture. I am boycotting the house.

The rug is also from the army and is stained (my mom claims she can't see the stains and doesn't care).

I know what you're thinking. You think it's not so bad. I mean, it's terrible taste, but it's not like the marble altar upstairs. Except it is. Because this shiny table and its matching chairs are not made of marble or granite at all. No, they are made out of PLASTIC. Or, as my mother corrected me, they are made out of FORMICA. As if that makes it any better. This furniture belongs OUTSIDE, except not even, because it's upholstered in fabric. Plastic and fabric.

Like I said, I'm boycotting the house. This offends me on so many different levels. It would be gross even if it were made of actual marble or wood. The fact that it's made of formica/plastic/faux-marble is like adding insult to injury.